How wonderful to read Janet Mummery’s letter. This inner struggle she talks about is all too familiar to me.

Like Janet I have had sufficient setbacks to make me cautious. I had my diagnosis of primary breast cancer in 1999, followed by secondaries in the ovaries eighteen months later. In 1999 I underwent bowel surgery, only to be told there was further spread of the disease in my abdominal area. Since then it has been a constant battle trying to control the cancer.

Between 1998 and 1999 I led a normal life – always feeling I had less energy than before my diagnosis, and being more susceptible to viruses – but generally feeling I had beaten the cancer. After surgery in 2009, followed by chemotherapy and further hormone treatment, I again tried to resume a normal working life. However, the cancer took hold again and I realised for the first time that I was no longer able to do what I wanted when I wanted. You can imagine the sheer frustration of not having the energy or stamina to dig my flowerbeds, put up a shelf or walk the mountains (not even along the flat river bank!).

Friends tell me I shouldn’t be doing these things anyway, I should be taking it easy, looking after myself, but I have always been a creator, a doer – perhaps it has been this will to get on with life and not consider myself ill that has kept me going all these years. All I know is that if I want to dig my flowerbed, even if the only way to do this is to sit among the flowers (and weeds) with my handfork, then that is what I do. If that is what makes me feel good, so be it – that is, to me, what looking after myself means.

There are days when I feel weak and weary, and days when I suffer the physical disabilities of bowel problems. On these days you may well find me in bed or sitting relaxing in a chair. I am amazed how I have come to accept this inactivity, but it is very much a case of ‘listening to my body’. There are times when I have been inactive for a number of days and I feel my body needs a ‘kickstart’, a gentle push through the barriers of caution. This can be a difficult time of ‘Should I or shouldn’t I?’, but again your body will soon scream at you if you shouldn’t have when you did!

Fatigue is a problem but in my experience your body will soon let you know if you shouldn’t be doing something. If once you’ve started you feel totally devoid of energy, pack it in. You may however find that that gentle push has made you more eager to complete the task and the adrenalin has boosted your energy.

My advice is, have the courage to listen to your body, or, if you can’t hear it, do what you feel, what you want. If it is to be lazy so what – it’s your life, make the most of it.